Tradition or No Tradition

Wedding in Indonesia always include question whether we are going to use tradition or not.  Using tradition will have some consequences such as the effort is high and the overall budget is higher.  Some families then do the tradition in partial way, but I think that is not the point.  Tradition from any part of Indonesia for wedding has many regulations, and it has a deep meaning or philosophy for both bride and groom.  In my opinion, if you want to do it do it totally and completely, so it will imprint to both parties for long time.  Otherwise better not to do it at all.  Therefore, we can concentrate to do the Akad Nikah and made the ceremony according to Moslem requirement and legality.

Along the way, it is not as simple as that.  Sometime the other family requested one or two of the traditions need to be executed.  So the other side has to agree to do it as well, because both sides must do the same.  Again, these bring some consequences in the area of need more budget, efforts, involving more vendors and helpers, which cannot be avoided.  It is because both parties are not making a clear and complete agreement for both families what else that are going to be done besides the ceremony of Akad Nikah and Reception.  If this is settled then maybe the complexion of  unnecessary effort and time from both side can be avoided.

Vendor or consultant who is giving services to handle and execute the tradition is varying.  It is better if you choose the one who can provide all details necessary requirement for the ceremony including clothing, flower, decoration, MC, traditional foods, and consultation.  If we do separately, it will take more efforts.  Using tradition during wedding also needs longer planning period and more references to select the professional traditional wedding organizer.

After all the party gone, if we ask the bride and groom whether they still remember what are the meaning of each of the tradition step we were conducting during their wedding, I am sure they don’t remember a thing.  So why we should run something that in real life we do not use that philosophy anymore.  Young people are practical generation; therefore I would rather stick to give them religious messages and advises to run their family life, make it short simple and easy to remember and implement in real life.

So my advice to those who will hold their wedding party, please make sure both family are agree on the tradition.  In the case if both family came from different part of Indonesia, look for agreement which tradition will be followed.  Avoid debating on this; be flexible because it involves big families’ decision. Do not ashamed if you will not be able to run the show because of budget constraint.  Better be open and when agreed upon, do it sincerely.